makesthings: (Wallmaker)
Sam knew he should be happier, this was what he’d been hoping for longer than he’d known, someone else would be Abhorsen-in-Waiting. Yet it didn’t feel like a relief, he could see how Lirael knew it was the right thing for her to take up the bells. Looking back in the mirror explained how and apparently she was his aunt but she’d read the Book of the Dead on her own and had pipes that worked like bells that she knew how to use. While he was a Wallmaker and it must be more right than being Abhorsen-in-Waiting but he doesn’t know what being a Wallmaker even means. In the old rhyme they became stone and mortar, which while it would help to rebuild the Old Kingdom would hurt.

He’s been at points where he almost welcomed Death but he doesn’t want that, he wants to hold Kait and tell her that he hasn’t forgotten his duty. If he could find the words, he’d also like to tell her that he can’t imagine a life without her but this isn’t the time for that. For now he’d just be happy if she wasn’t disappointed in him or for anyone to think he can’t do what he needs to. There may never be a time for that with the Destroyer tangled up with Nick and having to save the Old Kingdom and all the confusions of her world. Everything has been happening too fast and now he has to find Nick with Lirael and be Wallmaker with a new surcoat that doesn’t feel like enough. The Clayrs have their library, the Abhorsens have the House and the Book of the Dead, the royal family has Belisaere, what does he have as the first Wallmaker in who knows how long?
makesthings: (hiding)
West of Belisaere and south of Sindle in a clump of trees, Sameth sprawled on the forest floor, all but dead to the world through blood loss. His horse, Sprout grazed beside him as the morning turned to afternoon and then to early evening when a piece of grass tickled his nose and he sneezed awake. He felt dazed and tried to remember, he must have had too much to drink, the last time he had a hangover this bad was in Milliways with that pirate.

So he sat up and opened his mouth to call for help when it all came back, his plan to help Nicholas, the disguise and everything going wrong. Two men, two of his father's men were dead because of him. Slowly he sat up, trying to brush the leaves off himself as he thought about their wives now widows.

The pain in his leg reminded him that he was alive, but his leg needed a proper caring for and that meant standing up and then getting Sprout. He just had to keep moving, because if the local constables caught up with him than everyone would know the true failure he was. So it was best to just keep going, disappear with a new face and find Nick near Edge.

Standing and getting to Sprout took longer than he expected but he did it and got deeper into the forest as it began to rain, which might kill him just as easily as anything else. His cloak was in his pack and he reached for it but touched the cold of The Book of the Dead, it had followed him like the bells. He would never be free of his duty that he could never live up to.
makesthings: (in waiting)
He's still thinking about everything Mogget said and he's not sure of all he really heard.

Perhaps Mogget does trust he can do whatever lays ahead though he didn't think his time here was a waste. That doesn't matter, he just has to go home and hope that summer arrives quickly.

He stops at the Bar to get more paper and some sealing wax on his way up.

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makesthings: (Default)
Sameth, Wallmaker and Prince of the Old Kingdom

July 2015

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